I am fascinated by how fascinated we are with the topic of love. Theologians, philosophers, poets, songwriters, novelists, film makers, sociologists, anthropologists, and psychologists have all dealt with this topic.
Psychologists wanted to know how people learned to love. So, they took some baby monkeys and put them into a cage with artificial mothers. One artificial mother was made of cold, steel wire. But she had a bottle with food. The other mother was made of soft terry cloth – good to cuddle with – but she didn’t have any food.
The baby monkeys preferred the soft mother. Even though she had no food, they spent more time with her. Something about the terry cloth triggered something in their monkey brains.
The few babies that hung out more with the wire mother did not snuggle with her. They took their food and moved on. When they grew up, the scientists noticed that they were detached parents. They did not nurture their own babies. They did not care for them much at all.
It may not be accurate to say they did not know how to love. Monkeys may not love at all. But it’s clear that they missed something crucial.
Loving is not something that comes automatically. We have to learn how to love – which is bad news for us. Few words are harder to pin down than “love.” You hear it casually tossed around in so many different ways.
“I love that movie. I love that song. I love chocolate. I love that first cup of coffee in the morning. I love my car. I love my church. I love my pastor. I love my friends. I love it when the Green Bay Packers lose a game.”
I did a Google search on the word “love” and found a website where you can put in your name and the name of another person and the website will tell you your chances of having a sustained and lasting relationship. According to Dr. Love, Stephanie and I scored a 93%. So there’s the good news. The bad news for me: Stephanie and George Clooney scored an 87% love match. I’m not sure my six percentage points make up for his fame, wealth, good looks and better hair. But I can hope.
We get a lot of confusing messages about love, don’t we? In today’s Gospel, Jesus helps us out. He is with his disciples and in a very short time, he will be taken away. He is giving out his last advice. And this is what he says: “This is my commandment: love one other as I love you.”
Somehow, the love that Jesus speaks about is completely different from what society tells us about love. Jesus is talking about a love that transcends all the other loves, because it is ready to give of itself totally, without hope or expectation of receiving anything at all in return.
It’s the love a spouse has for another when he/she puts the other’s needs or desires before one’s own. It’s the love that overlooks another’s faults, and focuses on his/her endearing qualities. It’s the love parents have for their children when they play with their child even though they are really too tired to move. It’s the willingness to lay down one’s life for another to protect that person from pain. That is giving-love. That is sacrificing-love. That is God-love. And that is what you and I are called to do as followers of Jesus – to love one another.
The lyrics of this song really bring this home:
Love, love, love one another and be kind. Be kind to each other.
Love, love, love one another and be kind. Be kind to each other.
Jesus told us to love him, and to love everyone.
Jesus told us to love him, and to love everyone.
So let your light shine.
It’s time for us to love. It’s always time. Let’s not wait for someone else to act first. Let’s take the initiative and do love, just as Jesus taught us. Jesus loved us first: He came to us. He laid down his life for us, even when we weren’t looking for it – even when we didn’t deserve it. This is how we know love. This is how we learned how to love. This is why we must do the same. And it all starts with these three beautiful words: “Love one another.”
