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mourning | Deacon Allen Tatara Catholic Speaker

mourning | Deacon Allen Tatara Catholic Speaker

On the Inside; On the Outside


 

Ask and You Shall Receive

Posted by | Emotions/Feelings | 2 Comments

For the past several weeks, I have been under an overwhelming amount of stress. Most of this was work-related: working long hours with short deadlines. Throw in several church-related activities and tasks on top of that, and I was running on non-stop overdrive.

        In the midst of all of this, we had a family emergency at the hospital. Upon driving to the hospital one day, I noticed that I was having difficulty breathing and felt some odd pains in my chest that I had never felt before. I thought that I was having a heart attack. I immediately broke into prayer asking God to help calm me down. At that very moment, a song came on the radio – and I heard these lyrics:

Every anxious thought that steals my breath,
It’s a heavy weight upon my chest.
As I lie awake and wonder what the future will hold,
Help me to remember that You’re in control.

You’re my courage when I worry in the dead of night.
You’re my strength ’cause I’m not strong enough to win this fight.
You are greater than the battle raging in my mind;
I will trust You, Lord, I will fear no more.

As soon as these words touched my ears, I felt the power of God within me and I began to realize that I could not handle all of this weight on my own. I suddenly felt a calmness come over me and began to breathe normal again.

In our first reading, Queen Esther, filled with anguish, breaks into prayer and realizes that there is no one else who can provide her with the help she needs other than her Lord and Savior.

Every now and then, you and I need a little reminder that we need to turn to God for help. We cannot handle our stress alone but need to rely on the one who can help us carry our load.

During this Lenten season, let us get into the habit of turning to our Father in prayer. For everyone who asks, receives; and the one who seeks, finds; and to the one who knocks, the door will be opened. Lord, turn our mourning into gladness and our sorrows into wholeness. Praise be to God, now and forever. Amen.

As Clear as Day

Posted by | Everyday Life | No Comments

For those of you who haven’t heard, I recently had a bad case of influenza. If that wasn’t bad enough, it arrived day before Holy Thursday, and it proceeded to “do me in” for at least two weeks.

One thing you need to understand is that in all the years of my existence on this planet, I had never missed attending parts of the entire Triduum and Easter Sunday. (And for a deacon, this feat is nearly impossible.) But that’s what happened. I was bed-ridden through the holiest days of the year.

I struggled with mini-bouts of anger for being sick and missing church. This really troubled me and I even felt guilty for being at home. I was going through the various stages of mourning, and I even broke out in tears at one point.

So I began to pray and placed myself into the passion story. I tried to connect my sickness to what Jesus had experienced. Of course, there is no comparison, but it helped me reframe my situation and gave me a powerful spiritual experience that got me through that difficult time. It’s hard to explain what happened, but I will always treasure the moment.

In today’s Gospel (John 16:16-20), we are reminded that we may weep and mourn at times, even when the world may be rejoicing. We may grieve over things that we experience, even things out of our control. But we must trust and believe that Jesus is always with us along the way. He desires to be in relationship with us. He loves us so much that he laid down his life for you and me. He didn’t take the easy way out, but had faith in his Father’s will.

We may not always see the Lord in all that we do, but he is always there with us. All we have to do is have a little faith and simply trust in the Lord. Then, in a little while, we will see clearly. And that will be more than enough to turn our grief into unimaginable joy.