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doubt | Deacon Allen Tatara Catholic Speaker

doubt | Deacon Allen Tatara Catholic Speaker

On the Inside; On the Outside


 
A No-Doubt, Life-Changing Encounter

A No-Doubt, Life-Changing Encounter

Posted by | Discipleship, Emotions/Feelings, Everyday Life | One Comment

Have you ever wondered what it was like to be in that upper room with the disciples after the death of Jesus? What it must have felt like as they huddled together in fear thinking that they could be next to die? All that despair, doubt and confusion that permeated their existence. It most certainly would make them want to cry out, “My Lord and my God.”
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Chosen by Jesus

Posted by | Discipleship, Everyday Life | No Comments

I’d like you to imagine this scene. You are in grade school standing with a group of your friends on the school playground. Two people emerge as captains and begin picking their teams. You stand there, waiting for your name to be called and to be chosen. What are some of the emotions that are running through your mind? Is it excitement in anticipation of your name being called? Is it anxiety and the stress of waiting? Is it doubt that maybe you don’t feel like you’re worthy of being chosen? Or is it fear, thinking to yourself, “Please don’t let me be picked last.” Finally, you’re picked. What were you feeling? Was it relief that you landed on a team? Were you hesitant because you weren’t sure of what was to come? Or were you filled with exuberance, ready to jump in and get started? I remember one time in grade school, there was a boy named Billy who had absolutely no athletic skill at all, and neither captain wanted him on their team. Eventually he was the last kid standing. When he was finally chosen, he didn’t reluctantly mosey over to his team because he was last. He was filled with such joy and excitement that he began yelling at the top of his lungs, “Woo hoo! Yeah! Alright! Let’s do this!” The rest of us kind of looked at each other in complete shock because we had never seen anyone so excited to be chosen. Read More

Peace Be with You

Posted by | Everyday Life | 2 Comments

My father passed away in 2014, and there are still so many days when I miss him dearly. About a year ago, I was at a busy shopping mall when I noticed a man from a distance that looked exactly like my dad. I couldn’t believe my eyes, and since this man was far away, I needed to get closer to see if it was really him.

As I made my way through the crowd, my heart began beating rapidly. I began sweating and my mind was racing with fear and questions. As I approached, he turned around, made eye contact with me and then vanished into the crowd. It wasn’t him, but the similarities shook me to my core.

As I walked away, I felt deeply troubled, and I wondered what would I have said or done if it was indeed my father.

Today, we hear how the disciples thought that they saw a ghost because Jesus had died, and now he was standing right in front of them again – very much alive. (Luke 24:35-48) They had so many questions on their minds. Their hearts were filled with uncertainties and they began doubting themselves, their faith, and their mission. Jesus appeared and gave them peace, reassuring them that everything was going to be just fine.

Our lives are filled with so many questions, problems, and struggles. We get scared and often find ourselves lost. It is during these times when we need to remember that Jesus is right here with us. All we have to do is reach out to him in prayer and he will show us the way.

Jesus is offering us his peace. If we accept this peace, Jesus will open our minds to His word; and that Word will guide us and give us the courage to overcome whatever darkness comes our way. May God’s peace lead us to the brightness of each new day.

A Life of Joy

Posted by | Discipleship | No Comments

When I was in junior high, my mother asked me one day to clean my room. I decided to go all-biblical on her because we had just talked about today’s gospel in religion class. I said to her, “Woman, how does your concern affect me? My hour has not yet come.” (Kids – do not try this at home!) I honestly didn’t know how quick her reflexes were or how strong she was until that very moment when her hand quickly smacked across my face. That was not a joyful experience.

Something that was a joyful experience happened a few years later. I bought my parent’s a wall calendar – and their reaction was truly priceless. It was called “Nuns Having Fun,” and it was filled with a variety of images of fully-habited nuns doing fun things. There were nuns in bumper cars, nuns on roller coasters, nuns having snowball fights, nuns skeet shooting, and on and on. My favorite was a group of nuns running in the ocean, arms up in the air with the biggest smiles on their faces! It was a really goofy calendar, but it brought up a great point: the Christian life isn’t a life of suffering, but it’s a life of joy!

And we can see this in our Gospel today. A lot of things are going on. It is Jesus’ first public miracle and it really kicks off his public ministry. It also shows us the deep relationship that Jesus had with his Mother. And the transformation of water into wine reminds us of the Eucharistic imagery that we experience during the Mass. But one detail that is overlooked is that Jesus was doing all this at a wedding feast! This is no small thing. Jesus lived a life of joy – and he actually went to parties! (OK, so he went with his mom, but still!) It shows us that Jesus wasn’t a stranger to the good and fun things in life. It’s important for us to remember that the good things in our lives are gifts from God.

There are two distinct parts in our gospel that I want to point out: one, Before Christ; and another, After Christ. The first scene that St. John describes is one of emptiness, and the second, on the contrary, is marked by abundance. And what brings about the difference between these two time periods is key: it’s the intervention of Jesus.

The marriage feast had come to a complete stop because they ran out of wine. Wine is a symbol of celebration and happiness. No wine meant that they had no joy. There were experiencing emptiness!

Mary noticed this, so she turned to Jesus for help. Though he initially hesitated, Mary trusted that Jesus would make everything right and instructed the servants, “Do whatever he tells you.” The rest, as they say, is history. Jesus changed water into wine and saved the hosts from disgrace.

But of course, the point isn’t just the wine. The wine is a “sign.” As we look at our own lives, we can’t help but notice that the wine always runs out. Whatever the gains, life always brings losses. We grow up and we grow old. We have children (sometime in pairs). Children grow up and lose their innocence. Parents see their kids leave home (and sometimes come back again). We find jobs; and sometimes we lose jobs. We work and work and work until one day, we find ourselves facing retirement. Our body parts eventually lose the battle against gravity and we lose hair where we want it and gain it where we don’t. Aches and pains become more frequent, so we moan in despair. And no one gets out of here alive. Add all the technology you want, but our human resources eventually come to an end. That’s the bad news.

The good news – the great news: the resources of God never run out! New energy springs out of weariness, new opportunities emerge from failure, and new hope arises in the ashes of doubt and despair.

Jesus asks the servers to fill the six empty stone jars with water. (Interesting fact: six is a symbol of chaos, imperfection and evil.) When they drew out some of the water, they discovered that it was the best wine! The party could continue! There is abundance, order and celebration – all because of the intervention of Jesus.

The question for us is how do we keep our water jars filled?

We first must continually invite Jesus into our lives. We need to pray daily and believe that God is always right by our side guiding us every step of the way.

If we trust Jesus, our wine – or our happiness – will never run dry because when we realize that God is our first love, the wedding feast never ends.

And that superior quality of wine that he transformed is the quality of life that we will find in and with Jesus. We no longer feel abandoned because we are espoused to a God who gets involved in our lives by entering into it constantly so that he can share in our little and big joys.

And this brings me back to my original point: that the good things of life are gifts from God. God gives us so many good things and so many causes for joy for a reason – to draw us back to him. They give us little hints about what true communion with God will be like. Jesus didn’t just change water into wine to keep the party going, but to draw us into the mystery of God’s power and love. And what greater love does our bridegroom have for us then his ultimate sacrifice on the cross. As we approach this altar today to receive Jesus, let us thank God for our earthly joys, and to remember that when we entrust our lives to Jesus and do whatever he tells us, we will discover an abundant life that is overflowing with love, happiness and immeasurable joy!

Being a Disciple is like being a Parent

Posted by | Discipleship | 2 Comments

Last weekend, our oldest son got married. It was a beautiful day and everything went as well as could be expected. It was a wonderful time filled with happiness, family and a really good party.

But as we were waiting for the wedding to begin, my mind started reminiscing as I happily watched our son in the final moments before the ceremony. I started thinking about his early birth into this world (three months early to be exact) and how Stephanie and I watched him overcome the many obstacles as he grew. I started thinking about all of the good times we had when he was a young boy and all of the activities that we did together. I started remembering all of the joy and sadness that we encountered along the way of watching him grow into the young man that he is today. I also thought about how unprepared I was to be a parent.

Raising children is not easy. We do the best we can with the knowledge gained from our own upbringing and experiences. Sometimes it’s a struggle. But we do the best we can do and pray that our choices and decisions will benefit our children for years to come.

In our Gospel today (Matthew 10:7-15), Jesus informs us of what we need to do in our mission to be his disciples. It’s similar to parenting. Sometimes, things fall right into place. Other times, we have no clue as what to do. The job is not always easy and sometimes we have doubts. So we need to trust and remember that God, our Father, is always with us guiding us and showing us the way – just like any parent would do.

Trust in the Lord with all your heart; and lean not upon your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will direct your path. ~Proverbs 3:5-6

And Now, I Wait

Posted by | Emotions/Feelings | 2 Comments

I am one of the disciples of Jesus. I’m ashamed to admit it, but I am in hiding because of the events that have recently taken place. After what had happened to Jesus, I feared for the worst. All I could think about was could this possibly happen to me as well? I was terrified, and I fled for my life. Here I thought that my faith was strong enough to withstand anything; but man, was I wrong. I abandoned my Lord, and I feel awful. He told us to trust in him, but I didn’t. But can you blame me? I’ve never been so frightened in my entire life.

And now, I wait.

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In God We Doubt?

Posted by | Everyday Life | No Comments

Have you ever accidentally missed a big moment? It feels terrible! You got distracted right before your child scored a goal. You missed the winning touchdown because your cellphone rang. You were driving to the hospital to witness the birth of a grandchild, and the baby arrived before you did. Maybe you missed the two Popes being canonized this morning because you overslept. It’s a terrible feeling, and this is exactly how Thomas feels in today’s Gospel (John 20:19-31). Read More

Heavenly Bread

Posted by | Everyday Life | No Comments
Mr. and Mrs. Rodriquez came to our sharing parish picnic. They have five sons and each son has a sister who has five daughters, each of whom has one brother each. How many of them came to the picnic?
 
What I just shared with you is a riddle, and no doubt that you are trying to come up with an answer. Some of us feel the need to be able to explain and reconcile everything more than others. (I am one of those people, and it drives my wife nuts!) But generally, most of us like things to make sense, and we like to know the answer. Read More