Am I glad to see Friday! This has been one of those weeks; you know, the type of week where you were tested and tried, poked and pried, basted and fried. It was one of those weeks when your patience is put to the test, day after day. And, I’m sad to say, I did not handle that patience piece very well at all!
My activities surrounding my job search were quite active this week. There was also a lot of activity surrounding some family health challenges. And don’t even get me started on the lack of sunshine this week! The skies were constantly dark and cloudy, it was cold and raining – and my patience was running thin!
Patience is a funny thing when you think about it. It is defined simply as:
- Bearing pains or trials calmly or without complaint
- Not hasty or impetuous
- Steadfast despite opposition, difficulty, or adversity
- Able or willing to bear or put up with
Looking over these meanings, I can honestly say that I failed miserably this week when it came to being patient. It’s downright embarrassing to see that I was zero out of four on the patience-definition scale.
So the question that we need to ask is this: why do we lose our patience so frequently and easily? Is it the fact that we are so preoccupied with all of the “stuff” that going on in our lives that we fail to see the good through the not-so-good? Is it that we become so consumed with our own misfortunes and challenges that we fail to see the misfortunes and challenges of those around us?
It is after a week like this (and after some serious reflection) when I realize how badly I needed to reach out to Jesus. How much easier my load could have been if I only let go of my own pains and trials, without complaining, and let the Lord carry those burdens for me. If only I were to able to not be so testy with others because I was too wrapped up in my own worries and concerns, instead of seeing Jesus in those around me. If only I had kept my eye on the destination and not be enveloped by the bumpiness of the rocky road beneath my feet. If only I had trusted in Jesus a little bit more, and to have him show me that I too am able to carry my cross and walk that impossible mile; not alone, but alongside him. If only I trusted him more!
Lord, help me to be more patient with myself as well as those around me. Let me willingly release the ties that bind me so tightly, so that I may be free to feel the calm of your loving embrace.
