Mary, just be who God made you to be. Love one another as God loves you. And love yourself as well. Just continue to do God’s work here on earth. And pray unceasingly. Good things will happen! May God bless you always.

Thank You for that advice. I will pray. I do pray often. I envision the cartoons where the angel is sitting on the guys shoulder and talking things out with him all day. I talk out loud during the day in prayer as if God, or an angel is with me. It might be a bit crazy, but I feel like God is with me. Hasn’t always been that way, so it’s a good thing. I just have gotten to a place in life where I feel I have to choose between myself and certain others. If people in your life are causing nothing but stress and anguish shouldn’t you step back from them? I have always put others first. I am a very altruistic person. My sister is a lot like me and we have gotten a lot closer since our parents have died. But the rest of the family is very self centered and are takers. When helping them is hurting me shouldn’t I find happiness with others? Even though I can say I love them, they are family. And if one of them needed a kidney in order to live I would be there to give them one. I feel like there are so many people who need help, and the people who really don’t, and just abuse the kindness in others aren’t the ones I choose to be around anymore. Is that a bad attitude? Is God not wanting me to love myself as much or more then the others in my life?

Taking care of an elderly parent is not easy. It takes a great amount of love, sacrifice and self-giving. I too have a special place in my heart for the “Patricia’s” of the world. And I am thrilled to hear that you have proposed such a wonderful idea of an Elderly Companions Ministry. What a blessing that will be for those who will benefit from this service. It is a very rewarding ministry indeed, and you will often receive so more than you feel you are giving. (That is the beauty and mystery of service!)

With regards to your family, that is a difficult and delicate situation. Families are a gift given to us by God. Families can also be challenging as well. God made each of us to be unique with our own individual gifts and talents (and sometimes egos). As much as we would like to, we won’t always get along with everyone. That’s just human nature. However, when it comes to our family, we need to make every effort to connect. Granted, I don’t know all of the details of your situation, but you need to discover why you are finding yourself drifting away. Is it something that happened years ago? Is it someone who is in need of forgiveness? Are you letting your differences get in the way of deepening your relationships with them? I cannot answer this for you. However, I can offer this advice. Pray! I encourage you to pray not only for them but also for yourself – that God may give you the patience and understanding to communicate openly with your family. To pray for the knowledge to know what to say and when to say it. And to pray for the strength to uncover the things that need to be uncovered in order to truly live as brothers and sisters of Christ. May God fill you with his mercy and love each and everyday!

Never read your blog but will do so more often. I feel for people who lose loved ones, and for those like Patricia taking care of an elderly parent. I try to help through the helping hands ministry as much as I can. I have a special kind of Love for the Patricias in the world who take such care of their elderly relatives and realize how precious they are. This has become my focus. I even proposed a sort of “Elderly Companions Ministry” composed of people who just want to spend an hour a week, or month at a nursing home visiting those who seem to have been forgotten. So sad how the elderly are treated in our society.

Anyway, that’s off track. My question is how do you resolve issues on the other end of the scale. Long story but I never felt like I connected well with my mother. My father yes, but he died before I had the chance to really get to know him. I’ve realized since she died how much some of my siblings are like my mother. I can’t connect to them either. We are very different, and I see myself drifting more from people who had been in my life until now. They aren’t people I feel are helping me feel good in my life. I’ll never resolve issues with those who have gone, but I feel after so many years of trying, it’s not possible with people so different. What are your thoughts about that? Thanks!

Lois, thank you for your kind words. I didn’t realize that you now live in “God’s Country.” Although, everywhere is God’s Country! I’m glad you like Give Us This Day, for it is a great booklet to help us to pray more. It’s great to hear from you, and I pray that you and your family have a wonderful and blessed new year. May God bless you each and everyday.

Stephanie, thank you for your kind words. And I am sorry for your losses as well. Yes, it is not easy losing a loved one. My father passed right before Thanksgiving, so the holiday were a bit rough for our family. But with prayer and each other, we managed to get through. You are correct that God works on his own time, not ours. And that is something that we always need to be reminded of, as we live in such an instantaneous society, we always expect that of our prayers with God. But God answers our prayers when it is most unexpected. Very funny that you visited St. Hubert while passing through on your road trip. (Yes, God certainly works in mysterious ways!) And about your fears that you are experiencing, make sure you offer those up to God in prayer. Let him know what you are facing, and ask for his help, guidance, support, and direction. And then – listen. We too often pray and it’s all one-sided. But part of prayer is listening to what God has to say, because God does have something to say. Thank you for your comments, and I will pray that God will strengthen you. May God bless you always.

I just read your article in Give Us This Day daily word’s Reflection for Thursday , January 15th, Desperate For Change, today at daily mass. I read the reflection after communion and was shocked to learn I actually knew the author.

I now live in Shawano, Wisconsin and love this publication to follow along with for daily mass. I had been a parishioner at st. Hubert’s for 20 years prior to this and was delighted to recognize your name. I enjoyed the article. I always enjoyed your sermons also.

Just think how many people your preaching reaches, thank you for that. Please thank your wife as well as I am sure she spends much of her time helping St. Hubert’s parishioners also.

Your boys are surely grown now. I always thought of running into your family at Disney world when my girls and your boys were little, each time I would see them at church.

I look forward to seeing more of your writings in surprising places.

Lois Brewster

Patricia, I will place you in my daily prayers. We live in a world that keeps us so busy with so many things. And there just doesn’t seem to be time to do all of the things that we really should be doing. All I can tell you is to pray without ceasing, and do it consistently throughout your day. You will find that when you pray and ask God to help you to prioritize, good things will happen. It is so important to spend time with those we love, especially when they are up there in years. I realized this when my father was diagnosed with cancer. I know that I needed to make the time in my schedule to spend time with him, or even just to talk on the phone. Now that he has passed, those times I spent with him during his chemo treatments are some of the best recent memories that I have. Our conversations were priceless. So yes, please make sure that you make the commitment to spend time with him. It is so very important. May God be with you and help you each and everyday.

Thanks Bob for the kind words. May the Lord of life be with you always.