Over the past week, I have been watching my father’s old 8mm home movies. This was a project that was started months before his passing, where he was cleaning out his basement and wanted to get rid of all these old reels of film. Being the video buff that I am, I said that I would take it and capture on video all of the important parts so we had it as a memory of the past. So for months, this stuff sat here in my “things to do” pile. Well, I’m finally getting to it, Dad!
I have to say, this has been a real treat. I’ve been watching films that go back to the late 1950’s, and it’s been a hoot! Yes, there are many things and people that I do not recognize, but there is so much more that I do. My Dad took a lot of movies of their vacations, so there has been a great deal of footage of various places around the country, many of which I recognize from when I was there myself. It’s kind of good to know that some places have not changed a bit over the years.
The other gift has been watching the old footage of my sister and I growing up. There were multiple years of Christmas gatherings, and watching us with Santa and all the presents that we received. Plus, it was fun to remember the old toys that we had and when we received them. Many of those toys brought back fond memories. And it was good to see how my older sister took care of me when I was a little baby. We definitely had a bond going there!
But more importantly, as I watched these old family movies, I have been opened to a new view of my father. It’s been very cool to see him as a young father, and how he and Mom showed their love for us. It was heart-warming to see my father holding my hand when I was just beginning to walk, helping me with a boost when I couldn’t climb up on an old train, and setting me straight on a path when I was going astray. My father loved me! I always knew this, but it became even more apparent when watching these old reels. And I believe that our God loves us in the exact same way: being there when we need him the most, helping us when we struggle, and keeping us on the right path if we listen. Our father loves us very much indeed!
Viewing these old movies has filled me with some new memories of my father; and with the help of digital video, I will be able to visually treasure these memories for a very long time. Thank you, Dad, for all the great vacations, family get-togethers, for being a great provider, and for being my biggest supporter. Please know that you are greatly missed and loved. May God bless you in your heavenly home.
Hi Allen, I love your writings and thoughts. Just connected after reading the reflection in This Day. About five years ago my cousin, Penn French, of Glen Ellyn converted our family reels into a DVD. He labored by adding music from the 40’s, 50’s, 60’s and 70’s as well as organizing footage into a kind of chronology. What a treat to see my family come alive. For those of us who no longer live in Central Illinois it was even more special I think. Your thoughts about your Dad and our father rekindle the truth in me this morning that we are all so precious and so loved…now and forever…again and again. Thanks!
Thanks Bob for the kind words. May the Lord of life be with you always.
I have a very similar story. My dad took the videos of my brother and I growing up and family functions. Unfortunately, the image quality on these films has pretty much gone to black over the years. He also has boxes upon boxes of slides that one can watch on a slide projector.
My dad is 91 and about to be 92 in April. He lives alone, about 10 miles from me. He has his slide projector set up in his living room just waiting for someone to come over to view the old photos with him. He has the beginnings of dementia or Alzheimers, whatever name one wishes to give this terrible disease.
I take him to church every week and to the grocery store, etc. I make sure he has everything he needs each day ;however, I know the thing he would probably most want is for me to take the time to sit down with him and look at some of his old photos. After reading your comments on this very subject, I am going to make a concerted effort to go and sit with him and enjoy the photos before he’s gone . I realize at his age, this could be any time.
I work each day and busy myself with my own life at home but my confession is that I know I could find the time to spend with him and his photo memories. By saying it out loud and writing this to you, it only reinforces in my mind what I need to do, and should have been doing all along.
Please pray along with me that I can keep my promise this day to do just this one small thing for him. Thanks, Pat K.
Patricia, I will place you in my daily prayers. We live in a world that keeps us so busy with so many things. And there just doesn’t seem to be time to do all of the things that we really should be doing. All I can tell you is to pray without ceasing, and do it consistently throughout your day. You will find that when you pray and ask God to help you to prioritize, good things will happen. It is so important to spend time with those we love, especially when they are up there in years. I realized this when my father was diagnosed with cancer. I know that I needed to make the time in my schedule to spend time with him, or even just to talk on the phone. Now that he has passed, those times I spent with him during his chemo treatments are some of the best recent memories that I have. Our conversations were priceless. So yes, please make sure that you make the commitment to spend time with him. It is so very important. May God be with you and help you each and everyday.
I am so sorry for your loss. My father died in June of 2001 and my mother, more recently, in September of 2013. I am still grieving…but it does get easier as the time passes. And the warm memories will surpass the hurt and grief. I smile when, as I am making something or assembling something together I remember, “Measure twice, cut once,” and “read the directions first!” My Dad was very practical! He was creative and the kindest man I have ever known. My dear husband would agree to that statement, too! I cared for my mom the last 4 years of her life, and memories of her decline and especially the last week of her life still bring me to tears, but then I think of her in all those happy moments with us and I thank God for that gift! God works in his own time (his ways are not ours) and I pray every day for the strength to get through my days.
I really just wanted to thank you for your blog. I was praying this morning about a different matter, to be able to cope with my fears (it is a long story…) and I read your Reflection in today’s Give Us This Day and saw St Hubert’s Church in Hoffman Estates where we attended Mass one Saturday evening on our road trip from New York City to Boise, Idaho! God always answers my prayers…always! I often don’t understand his answers immediately…or I often don’t receive the answer I had expected or hoped for, but God hears me and that is all I need to know. So I thank God today for you and your blog and I thank you, too. God bless you!
Stephanie, thank you for your kind words. And I am sorry for your losses as well. Yes, it is not easy losing a loved one. My father passed right before Thanksgiving, so the holiday were a bit rough for our family. But with prayer and each other, we managed to get through. You are correct that God works on his own time, not ours. And that is something that we always need to be reminded of, as we live in such an instantaneous society, we always expect that of our prayers with God. But God answers our prayers when it is most unexpected. Very funny that you visited St. Hubert while passing through on your road trip. (Yes, God certainly works in mysterious ways!) And about your fears that you are experiencing, make sure you offer those up to God in prayer. Let him know what you are facing, and ask for his help, guidance, support, and direction. And then – listen. We too often pray and it’s all one-sided. But part of prayer is listening to what God has to say, because God does have something to say. Thank you for your comments, and I will pray that God will strengthen you. May God bless you always.
Deacon Tatara,
I just read your article in Give Us This Day daily word’s Reflection for Thursday , January 15th, Desperate For Change, today at daily mass. I read the reflection after communion and was shocked to learn I actually knew the author.
I now live in Shawano, Wisconsin and love this publication to follow along with for daily mass. I had been a parishioner at st. Hubert’s for 20 years prior to this and was delighted to recognize your name. I enjoyed the article. I always enjoyed your sermons also.
Just think how many people your preaching reaches, thank you for that. Please thank your wife as well as I am sure she spends much of her time helping St. Hubert’s parishioners also.
Your boys are surely grown now. I always thought of running into your family at Disney world when my girls and your boys were little, each time I would see them at church.
I look forward to seeing more of your writings in surprising places.
Lois Brewster
Lois, thank you for your kind words. I didn’t realize that you now live in “God’s Country.” Although, everywhere is God’s Country! I’m glad you like Give Us This Day, for it is a great booklet to help us to pray more. It’s great to hear from you, and I pray that you and your family have a wonderful and blessed new year. May God bless you each and everyday.
Hi Deacon Allen,
Never read your blog but will do so more often. I feel for people who lose loved ones, and for those like Patricia taking care of an elderly parent. I try to help through the helping hands ministry as much as I can. I have a special kind of Love for the Patricias in the world who take such care of their elderly relatives and realize how precious they are. This has become my focus. I even proposed a sort of “Elderly Companions Ministry” composed of people who just want to spend an hour a week, or month at a nursing home visiting those who seem to have been forgotten. So sad how the elderly are treated in our society.
Anyway, that’s off track. My question is how do you resolve issues on the other end of the scale. Long story but I never felt like I connected well with my mother. My father yes, but he died before I had the chance to really get to know him. I’ve realized since she died how much some of my siblings are like my mother. I can’t connect to them either. We are very different, and I see myself drifting more from people who had been in my life until now. They aren’t people I feel are helping me feel good in my life. I’ll never resolve issues with those who have gone, but I feel after so many years of trying, it’s not possible with people so different. What are your thoughts about that? Thanks!
Taking care of an elderly parent is not easy. It takes a great amount of love, sacrifice and self-giving. I too have a special place in my heart for the “Patricia’s” of the world. And I am thrilled to hear that you have proposed such a wonderful idea of an Elderly Companions Ministry. What a blessing that will be for those who will benefit from this service. It is a very rewarding ministry indeed, and you will often receive so more than you feel you are giving. (That is the beauty and mystery of service!)
With regards to your family, that is a difficult and delicate situation. Families are a gift given to us by God. Families can also be challenging as well. God made each of us to be unique with our own individual gifts and talents (and sometimes egos). As much as we would like to, we won’t always get along with everyone. That’s just human nature. However, when it comes to our family, we need to make every effort to connect. Granted, I don’t know all of the details of your situation, but you need to discover why you are finding yourself drifting away. Is it something that happened years ago? Is it someone who is in need of forgiveness? Are you letting your differences get in the way of deepening your relationships with them? I cannot answer this for you. However, I can offer this advice. Pray! I encourage you to pray not only for them but also for yourself – that God may give you the patience and understanding to communicate openly with your family. To pray for the knowledge to know what to say and when to say it. And to pray for the strength to uncover the things that need to be uncovered in order to truly live as brothers and sisters of Christ. May God fill you with his mercy and love each and everyday!
Thank You for that advice. I will pray. I do pray often. I envision the cartoons where the angel is sitting on the guys shoulder and talking things out with him all day. I talk out loud during the day in prayer as if God, or an angel is with me. It might be a bit crazy, but I feel like God is with me. Hasn’t always been that way, so it’s a good thing. I just have gotten to a place in life where I feel I have to choose between myself and certain others. If people in your life are causing nothing but stress and anguish shouldn’t you step back from them? I have always put others first. I am a very altruistic person. My sister is a lot like me and we have gotten a lot closer since our parents have died. But the rest of the family is very self centered and are takers. When helping them is hurting me shouldn’t I find happiness with others? Even though I can say I love them, they are family. And if one of them needed a kidney in order to live I would be there to give them one. I feel like there are so many people who need help, and the people who really don’t, and just abuse the kindness in others aren’t the ones I choose to be around anymore. Is that a bad attitude? Is God not wanting me to love myself as much or more then the others in my life?
Mary, just be who God made you to be. Love one another as God loves you. And love yourself as well. Just continue to do God’s work here on earth. And pray unceasingly. Good things will happen! May God bless you always.