Have you ever caught yourself in the act of judging others? It could be while driving, in the grocery store, at school, at work, or even in church. We all have this inner tendency to judge; it’s human nature.
There’s an old anonymous poem that hits home when thinking about the dangerous act of judging:
I was shocked, confused, bewildered
As I entered Heaven’s door.
Not by the beauty of it all,
Nor the lights or its décor.
But if was the folks in Heaven
Who made me sputter and gasp –
The thieves, the liars, the sinners,
The alcoholics and the trash.
There stood the kid from seventh grade
Who swiped my lunch money twice.
Next to him was my old neighbor
Who never said anything nice.
Bob, who I always thought
Was rotting away in hell,
Was sitting pretty on cloud nine,
Looking incredibly well.
I nudged Jesus, “What’s the deal?
I would love to hear your take.
How’d all these sinners get up here?
God must’ve made a mistake.
And why is everyone so quiet,
So somber – give me a clue.”
“Hush, child,” He said,
“They’re all in shock.
No one thought they’d be seeing you!”
How can we stop ourselves from judging when it comes so naturally to us? Here are a few tips that I have found to be useful.
- There’s a story behind every person. Here’s a very relevant example. If you ever get cut-off while driving, don’t judge the other driver. You do not know what is going on in their life. What if they were rushing to get to a loved one in the hospital? (I’ve been in that situation.) You cannot judge what you do not know. Instead, pray for patience and understanding.
- Don’t focus on weaknesses, but strengths. When we find ourselves judging others, we tend to find every little thing possible to make them the weaker person. Try looking deeper to acknowledge their strengths. Afterall, are we judging because we don’t like their behavior or because they are not like us? Learn to practice kindness instead.
- Try to maintain love in your heart. Mother Teresa once said, “If you judge people, you have no time to love them.” If we can truly see the good in others, the better chance we’ll find the good in ourselves. Then, our love will shine through and there will be no more room in our hearts for judgment. Love one another.
Catholic priest and writer Henri Nouwen had a wonderful view about this:
“Often I have asked myself, what would it be like if I no longer had any desire to judge another? Or be controlled by the judgment of others? I would walk the earth a very light person indeed.”
When we stop judging others, a load is lifted off of us allowing us to be a lighter person. And a lighter person has more capacity to love and treat others the way Jesus did.
Remember, when we judge others, it’s really not about them but about us. We need to let our judgments and reactions lead us to a greater self-awareness so that every person we encounter becomes a teacher. When we accept this, they will become a blessing to us instead of a curse.
Stop judging, that you may not be judged. For as you judge, so will you be judged, and the measure with which you measure will be measured out to you. Why do you notice the splinter in your brother’s eye, but do not perceive the wooden beam in your own eye? How can you say to your brother, ‘Let me remove that splinter from your eye, while the wooden beam is in your eye? You hypocrite,* remove the wooden beam from your eye first; then you will see clearly to remove the splinter from your brother’s eye. ~Matthew 7:1-5
What happens when a little man meets a big God? Find out.
