Another sleepless night. Another night of tossing and turning, anticipating and waiting, hoping and praying. It is the eve of the “big day” when my future course of action may be determined. And then again, maybe not.
Anxiety is enveloping me at this very moment. And I’m not sure why, because I really don’t have any control over my current situation. But yet, I struggle with this lack of control in my possession. My mind is running in about 25 different directions, and I am being torn to shreds because of the unknown. In distress, I turn to a poem written by N.R. Stewart called “Anxiety”…
Fearing the future
My eyes aching from the dark
I am sleepless
I am crazy
Is this normal?
Sumo on my chest
Needles on my back
I am dizzy
I am nauseous
Does everyone feel this?
My tongue is swelling
I feel so strange
I am thirsty
I am terrified
What is going to happen tomorrow?
What I need to do is to stop, drop, and pray. I just need to try to relax and to let the Holy Spirit fill me. I need to feel the presence of the Spirit within me so that I have the confidence in myself and in my God-given abilities. I need to be calm and to know that God will be with me when I need him to be.
I humbly ask that you please keep me in your prayers tomorrow as I grasp onto a new level in my job search.
