“Whoever wishes to come after me must deny himself, take up his cross, and follow me.”
In that one, single sentence, Jesus sums up what it really means to be a Christian. There is so much depth in that sentence that we need to unpack it phrase-by-phrase to fully understand its meaning in our lives. Let’s look at the first point, one “must deny himself.”
There was a man who had a very disturbing dream that kept recurring. In this dream the man would be in pursuit of some lofty goal, when suddenly a masked enemy would appear and would thwart his efforts, leaving him frustrated and defeated. That same dream would repeat itself time after time, until one night it took a different turn. Just as he was almost in reach of his goal, that masked enemy again interfered and stopped him – but this time the man was able to snatch the mask from his enemy’s face – and, lo, the face that he saw was his own! (My Enemy by Edwin L. Sabin)
This story reminds us of the fact that overcoming “self” is every Christian’s biggest challenge. Our current culture not only supports, but requests (and even demands) that we put ourselves and our own happiness first before anything or anyone else.
Many marriage problems result from one spouse or the other, or even both, wanting their own way. Friendships dissolve because one insists that everything they say is important while everything the other says is not. And don’t get me started on the self-centeredness in social media, where it is all about being ‘liked’ and boosting our egos.
Jesus said, “For whoever wishes to save his life will lose it….” He is referring to the person whose approach to every situation is, “What’s in it for me?” Jesus says that such a self-centered person will “lose” his life – or ruin his life because only God knows what’s best for us.
Denying yourself is all about dying to your old ways so you can follow God’s will. How can you and I follow God’s will when we are too preoccupied with our own will? Instead of asking, “What’s in it for me?”, we need to start asking, “What can I do for thee?” Are we living a Christ-centered life rather than a self-centered life? Are we putting the needs of others before our own? Are we being kind and treating all of our neighbors with dignity, respect, and love – acknowledging that they, like us, are made in the image and likeness of God?
Life in its fullness is only lived when we give of ourselves. When we can deny ourselves and truly depend on God, it is then when we will discover what an abundant life is all about!
Point number two: one must “take up his cross.“
There was a young man who was at the end of his rope. Seeing no way out, he dropped to his knees in prayer and said, “Lord, I can’t go on. I have too heavy a cross to bear.” The Lord replied, “My son, if you can’t bear its weight, just place your cross inside this room. Then, open that other door and pick out any cross you wish.” The man was filled with relief and said, “Thank you, Lord.” He did as he was told. Upon opening the other door, he saw many crosses, some so large that the tops were not visible. He tried on a variety of crosses, but none seemed right; there was something wrong with each one he tried. Then he tried on a small cross leaning against a far wall. “I’d like this one, Lord,” he whispered. The Lord replied, “My son, that is the cross you just brought in.”
When we take up our cross, we are accepting what God has planned for us, and it is not always what we expect. Here’s the thing: God always answers our prayers, but often by giving us what we need rather than what we think we need. So, we need to be open-minded.
St. Paul tells us in the second reading to ‘not conform yourselves to this age but be transformed by the renewal of your mind.’ Instead of conforming ourselves to the pressures that society places on us, we need to transform ourselves to the values and virtues of Jesus. When we embrace our cross, it becomes a sign of total self-giving. To carry our cross means to be united with Jesus in offering the greatest proof of love that there is.
It is also important to remember that each one of us has our own individual crosses to bear. None are the same. Each one of our crosses is unique to us. St. Francis de Sales stated this beautifully:
“The everlasting God has in his wisdom foreseen from eternity the cross that He now presents to you as a gift from His Inmost Heart. This cross He now sends you He has considered with His all-knowing eyes, understood with His divine mind, tested with His wise justice, warmed with loving arms and weighed with His own hands to see that it be not one inch too large and not one ounce too heavy for you. He has blessed it with His Holy Name, anointed it with His consolation, taken one last glance at you and your courage, and then sent it to you from heaven, a special greeting from God to you, an alms of the All-Merciful Love of God.”
To take up your cross is to be open to the unexpected. It’s about giving up our life in order to find a much more abundant life – one that can only be found in the loving embrace of our Heavenly Father.
Lastly, point number three: “…follow me.”
It was a beautiful Sunday afternoon at Mundelein Seminary as me, my buddy Tom, and a small group of our friends attended a Mass for a friend of ours who was becoming a priest. We had about an hour to kill between Mass and dinner, so we decided to take a walk around the lake. When we came upon the little dock with some row boats, Tom said, “I’m going to take a boat out. Who’s with me?” None of us wanted to get all sweaty, so we watched Tom go out onto the dock, untie a boat, and put one foot in the boat while keeping his other foot on the dock. Slowly the boat drifted from the dock, on which Tom still had one foot planted, or at least he thought he did. As the boat drifted further and further from the dock, Tom was stretched out like an Olympic gymnast doing the splits, until he lost his balance and fell into the lake. Tom got into this predicament because he refused to commit. He had one foot on the dock and one foot in the boat.
We often do the same thing. We have one foot that we believe is safely planted in God’s world, but then we stretch out our other foot onto the dock of our modern society. And just when we think that we a solid faith-footing, the forces from the other foot seems to draw us further and further away from God, and we end up slipping and falling.
Following Jesus means to fully commit and respond to God’s call every single day. The world offers us so many phony things to chase after: wealth, power, beauty, fame, etc. The problem is: when we chase after these things, it leaves us wanting more. We find ourselves reaching for false gods, and we struggle to find our way back to our spiritual center. That’s why we need to remove these temptations from our lives and follow in the footsteps of Jesus.
You might be thinking, “I didn’t realize that being a good Catholic would be this difficult. I didn’t know there’d be sacrifice involved.” Jeremiah said something similar in our first reading, “You duped me Lord, and I allowed myself to be duped.” We want God in our lives, but sometimes it’s really hard to do what he wants us to do. We want the easy way out, and we feel like abandoning our call. And yet, just like Jeremiah, we sense that fire burning in our hearts – so we allow ourselves to be duped. Why? Because we want what God has to offer; we want to be fulfilled; we want to be saved; we want to be transformed.
Following the Lord means rejecting a world where everything else comes first – where Jesus is not even present. The problem is, as Jesus said, is that we are often “thinking not as God does, but as human beings do.” Peter wanted to prevent Jesus from suffering and dying. What’s so wrong with that? Why was Jesus so upset with Peter? Because Peter was disobeying God’s will and being drawn away from the Father. Peter was conforming to the world.
If we are to be followers of Jesus, we cannot let this happen. Our world is in extreme darkness, and people are desperately looking for hope. We can be that light of Christ for others. We can offer them that hope. All we have to do is listen to our hearts. Then, as St. Paul said, we will experience all that “is good and pleasing and perfect” – the only things in life worth pursuing!
My sisters and brothers, let’s not conform to the world and all its self-serving temptations. Instead, let’s choose to be transformed by God. If we can first, deny ourselves; second, take up our cross; and third, follow Jesus – then we will find true and lasting peace.
